We LOVE this article from Career Contessa. Sharing it here for you now!
The wacky thing about bending over backward to make others feel comfortable is that instead of them seeing you as uber polite....they mistake it for incompetence and weakness. Funny story...
I use to be that girl.
I use to explain away my statements before I made them. I would defer to the men in the room and let them speak before me.
I would give overdone "Yes, please! or Thank you's or "No, no it's okay!!", when I shouldn't have.
This has not only ALWAYS bitten me in the ass but made me resent the person I talked to this way.
You can't expect someone to treat you with respect if every time you're given the chance to assert yourself by receiving reverence, compliments you brush them off or play the weaker part.
In a work environment, this is something that will get you 'killed'. Now, your smarter colleagues will see through this facade of yours and will still treat you with respect but less evolved...